I saw a youtube video of PAYCO performing at the Esplanade today... and it just fills me up with nostalgia. I wish I cherished the times more, all ten years I was with PAYCO. The most junior and youngest kids in our time have now emerged to be the leaders of the orchestra, and when I look at them, I remember how it was to be part of a big group of kids/teens from very diverse backgrounds. Saturday afternoons were nothing more than just hard core music practice, and Saturday evenings were spent having dinner at selected malls as a big group, and just sitting around and just enjoying one another's company. Nothing more. No pretense, just plenty of warmth. One can only get that sense of warmth and comfort when he or she is in the company of individuals who, well, grew up with him/her. I really miss the good old days... and wish I could go back to it, but I can't.
But I know that I'll look back onto my life twenty years from now, and ache as bad as I do now, to go back into the past. So, for the sake of the future me, I have to cherish and appreciate every single day.
"Today is the youngest you can ever be for the rest of your life."
Sometimes, I feel that people age too fast but the mind has a hard time of adapting to it. When I was 18, I thought people in their twenties were positively ancient. But now, I don't feel ancient, like I should. Rather, I just feel like a 18-year-old trapped in my body. I don't feel much older, but my ID says otherwise. Sigh.
I don't feel unhappy, really. I just get pensive sometimes... heh.
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