Sometimes I think it sucks that my profile is public, and open to my friends.

Everytime I write something, I have to think about whether I'll hurt anyone's feelings before I write it.

Which is actually kinda annoying because the reason why I started this blog was so that I could look back and know exactly how I felt.

:(

I'm upset cuz I lost my ring. Now my left hand feels like it's naked. I know it sounds really trivial but hey, I've had it for about 4 years now. :/

I'm grumpy. Had this itch in my throat for the last 5 days now, and have to suck it up while everyone around me is making merry and drinking their lungs out. And maybe I'm spoilt, but you know, when you're sick, you want more attention and care from people you care about, right? Not too unreasonable, is it?

It's 39 degrees here. I almost melted in the car today. Shops here close at 230. PM, not AM. Can you believe it? And I thought San Diego was bad enough...

It's been busy busy busy.

Gonna leave for Arizona for a week for the FASEB conference, and then leaving for Singapore.

I still have to pack. Sigh.

And work just never ends.

My stomach doesn't feel good either. :(

Sigh.

I hate it when my tummy acts up, because it usually takes more than a week to recover.

All the good meals I'm going to miss out at the conference, which is BTW at a spa resort. Woohoo!

My boss keeps telling me to read when I'm in Singapore.

Boo.

Looking forward to Singapore tho.

At the stars - Better than Ezra

I just found one of my favorite songs when I was in Michigan:

Maybe I should drop you at your door.
Or leave tonight and vanish up the shore.
Anywhere but here.

It's three o'clock we're driving in your car,
You're screaming out the window at the stars,
"Please don't drive me home!"

Blame us 'cause we are who we are.
Hate us 'cause you'll never get that far.
And who'd suppose you would go?
I've already learned enough to know.

Tell me all the places we could go.
And count the headlights passing on the road,
A long, long time ago.

Here we are.
Foreign to their world.
Straight and composed.
Your sermons I can do without
And I finally found
That everybody loves to love you
When you're far away.

Could it be we've done something wrong
We'd make it home to your place before dawn
"Please, don't drive me home."
"Please, don't take me home."

Life.

"Life is hard; it's harder when you're stupid" - John Wayne

I thought this quote was hilarious, when I first read it, and I couldn't agree with it more. But the more I ponder over it, the more I think stupid people have it easier.

I have so many friends, who are pretty, smart and successful, people I respect in life, who are frequently depressed. I've since came to the conclusion that the smarter you are, the more you're aware of the things you're missing out on, and the more depressed you will be. I guess smarter people feel a greater need to pursue EVERYTHING that they've ever dreamed about, and feel a greater sense of regret when time slips them by...

but I think they're forgetting something: You can't do everything in your life without letting some things go, so you really just have to seize the day (like that oh-so-famous saying "Carpe Diem").

And that's what I've been trying to do. Enjoy my life. Day by day. Let every moment pass me by, remembering the good times, letting the bad times stay in the past.

There are many things in my life that I should be grateful for. But for some reason, there is always something to make it seem not good enough. It could be a traffic citation, a failed experiment, a harsh word from a loved one. And I let myself forget the good things in my life. That I'm pursuing my dream education, that I have such a loving and supportive family, that I'm healthy, that I'm still (relatively) young, that I have the freedom to do whatever I want still! And more and more, I appreciate it. I listen to my friend who feels restricted because she lives now at home in Singapore, after so many years in the states. I listen to my friend who's separated from her bs bf across continents, who's insecure about the relationship. I listen to my friend, who simply just can't seem to find someone to love. I see people who just desperately hang onto a relationship, even though their partners are not that into them....

And I feel that I need to really well erm... seize the day! And if you're reading this blog, you really should be too.

On a slightly different note, I have decided that from today onwards, I shall adopt a new attitude towards my lab work. I've seen too many people make a common mistake, and I have been guilty of it in the past too. Ever get too many ideas you want to work on, and after the initial 5 min of enthusiasm, it sputters and chokes to a standstill? It's easy to do that in the lab. You get this amazing idea, and you try to research on it for a while, and then 10 more ideas come, and you forget the initial idea. I think it's really a waste of time, if you don't follow through. Hence, from this day onwards, whatever idea I get, I shall jot it down into my notebook, and make it a point to follow it through, unless it's no longer feasible at some point.

Also, I have decided that my ideal life, after I'm done with my phd and my bond, would be to either go to law school or just travel and live abroad for short periods of time (1-2 years). I'll always have Singapore as my home, and can go back and forth, but I just really want to be thrown into a completely new environment and learn from it, like how I was when I first came to the states. My first destination will be France, and I hope that I'll be able to travel with my loved one there... and I don't really care what I work as, or how much money I'll make. My ultimate goal is just to learn the french way of life, and learn French fluently. Anyone who's keen, I'll let you know the specific details say 8 years from now. :)

I just don't want to be restricted to one place, and to live my life like that for the rest of my life... now I understand why you travel so much Li'er. :)

What have I been up to these days? Hmmm....

Well, I paid my speeding ticket today *damn you lady cop*... had to wait in line for a while, and the guy behind me was like " you'd think that they can't wait to get money from you". My ticket was 400 in full, and that doesn't even include traffic school. So I don't care what you say about the lady cop being nice, she's just a bloodsucking cunt like every other lady cop in this state.... except for this nice big lady cop at the La Jolla police station who corrected my violation about registration tabs...

She had a booming voice, and seriously I thought she was going to give me shit about the violation. But she was just the contrary. She didn't even bother to check my car, and just glanced over my documents, and gave me tips on how to facilitate the process. Plus she told me I have the prettiest almond-shaped eyes she's ever seen, and I'm really pretty, and should be a model. Hehehe. And when I told her she was too sweet, she said, "don't tell anybody, cuz I'm not like this most of the time!" Hee! Who says all lady cops are scumbags! :D

But anyways, I guess I learned a lesson or two about driving. :(

BTW, bought a new dress from Bebe! I wore it to Tower 23 with Jenn last week...

I just love the cutting! :)

I know people who read my blog prolly think Jenn is really ferocious cuz she NEVER smiles in any of the pictures, but hey, she's only a bitch to people who deserve it. Never to me. :D

Lost weight these 6 months I think, I think a total of 5-7 pounds. Wee! :)

Damn you caffeine.

I hate caffeine. I really do. It has never done anything good for me other than keeping me up at night. Never should have drank that bottle of apple tea and that two cups of tea at Okan. It's frigging 330 am in the morning, and I can't sleep. AHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyways, I'm going to talk about the saddest love story I've ever seen. It's an odd choice, but it really does resonate with me. Curious case of Benjamin Button. I know most people think the movie is way too long, and kinda boring, but I really liked it.

I used to think that distance was the worst thing that can stand between a couple, in times of vulnerability in my long distance relationships... but I was wrong. Distance is not, because it can be crossed, and eliminated with will and commitment. Time is. It was just so sad, because Benjamin and Daisy could only be together in that short window of time, and they just simply can't do anything about it. Daisy couldn't get younger, and Benjamin couldn't get older, so they can only helplessly watch their age differences become greater and greater......At the end of the day (or movie), I was just simply glad that we're all moving in the same direction of time. And that was comforting, in an odd way.

And that just reminds me of how I take things for granted sometimes. My mum always says "something worse could have happened" every time something bad happens to me. And she's right, of course, but it's always hard to appreciate it. Oh well.

Alrighty, going to try to sleep now...

April

It's been a long day.

Been at work the whole day today, and there's still work to be done. Left at 10 finally, came back home in the mood to pick on my room. Vacuumed the floor, changed my sheets, did a load of laundry, uploaded my pictures on my computer, and here I am.

I've been so lazy, have shitloads of pictures to talk about, so here goes!

Went to Kensington Grill for brunch one day...


The cinnamon roll panini style was AWESOME. It was crisp, not too sweet, and just heavenly.

I had the eggs benedict with duck confit and cornmeal puree. It was pretty good, but not the best I've had. The duck was flavorful though.

Went to this place called Chin's *Yun's recommendation*. We had the steamed cod with dried radish, and it was pretty yummy. The sauce was not that flavorful though.

Went to a pirate party the weekend before last. Had to leave early cuz of the run, but here's a pic of me and Meredith! :)

One of the days I went to Okan, I actually remembered to take more pictures. Hehe. It's my new fav restaurant in San Diego! :D I go there way too much.

Asparagus with miso vinegar. Super duper good. The miso has a peanuty taste to it too, so it blended really well.

The daikon cooked with broth was really good too. The broth was sooooo good. One of my favorites. My ultimate fav is the fried eggplant in miso. I'll take a picture next time. The pork with potatoes was pretty good too.


The mackerel with miso was super yummy too, if you like mackerel. Nicely grilled, and the miso sauce was soo good.


The cheesecake was really good too, I think there was tofu in it, too bad they took it off. BUT anyone who's going there should definitely try the pudding with black sauce. SOOOO yummy. It's like fresh milk custard with the best burnt sugar sauce ever. :)


My first time celebrating Easter! I had fun... :)

Went to the Death Cab for Cabbie concert by courtesy of Renee! Thanks Renee for buying me tickets for my bday! :)


It was really good, but I think I like the opening band better... whooooops. Cold war kids! :)

I told Kristine to help me take pictures at happy hour where the lab is celebrating Deron's bday, and she took like 20 pictures.

The thing was, I think she was taking more pictures of me instead.

See.

We didn't even get a picture of the whole lab.... oh well.

Will blog about my trip to San Francisco soon! :) Time for beeedddd. :)